My children are hippies. Ok. Not all of my children. My sons. They like to wear their hair long. And I really don't like it. However, I know that what they look like means nothing. I have bigger fish to fry. I have millions of things I want to teach them, lessons I pray they learn, values that I want them to embrace. Their outward appearance has nothing to do with any of these things. Besides, I spent many years dressing them and cutting their hair the way *I* liked it but those days are over (at least with Zech and Jake) and letting them choose their own identity is part of them growing up.
Least you think I am the best or worst parent ever for allowing them to have full control over their appearence, I must be competely honest here. I hate their long hair, I hate the way Zech never matches anything and looks like a homeless man half of the time. I hate that all they ever wear is jeans. However, I try to keep those opinions to myself. As long as the following parameters are kept:
1. You must wear CLEAN clothes. They can not smell or have been worn 10 times without washing or look like they were buried at the bottom of the hamper for a month.
2. When we are going somewhere as a family where appearance is a little more important, I DO get a say in what you wear. Also, there is a time and place to dress up. That means you will wear a shirt with a color, tucked in and you will like it because you look fabulous.
3. Hair needs to be trimmed once in a blue moon. Usually when it's in your eyes and I can no longer stand it.
This brings us to the point of this post....(finally, right?)
Zech asked me to take him for a haircut the other day. This happens about once every three years. All other haircutting is forced upon him. Personally I think his girlfriend was behind it and I am very happy about that. I am not above bribing her to get him to do what I want (I will need to make a note of this manipulative tactic for later).
Yesterday I finally had a few minutes and took him and Jake to get trims. Jake didn't want to go. Jake loves his hair long. Jake has FABULOUS thick, dark, curly hair. It didn't use to be curly but in the last year or so, it has become super curly. And thick and dark dark brown. Fabulous really. However, I can't stand it in his eyes. He was long overdue for a trim and shape up.
I normally go to whatever place is open that doesn't require appointments. I don't have time to make appointments. We just go. This time, I decided to try a new place near our house. Jake wasn't happy about it but we went in and waited. When it was Jake's turn I said, "give him a healthy trim" which is the same thing I always say and I swear I pay about $10.00 for a millimeter to be cut off because he always looks about the same as when we went in.
After I give instructions, I always read a magazine and wait. So I am busy reading about Oprah being fat again (really?!) and next thing I know, Jake is walking towards me with the look of red hot rage in his eyes and that's when I realize that the older lady who was cutting his hair translated "healthy trim" to "cut off all of his beautiful curly hair".
WHOOBOY! It took all I had to keep his head from exploding while I paid for the tragedy. Zech looked fabulous, Jake looked well, like all his hair was gone. He lost it in the car. I will save you from the dramatic conversation but I will sum up by telling you that he is never going to school again and has not taken his hood off of his head since.
I do feel bad. I do. My mom cut my bangs too short when I was his age and I have never let her forget it (she was waiting for that to come out-I do forgive you mom) and really, his hair is far too short. I think it looks fantastic but it's not my call to make. It's his head and his hair and I do feel bad. However, I will enjoy it (if he ever takes off his hood) until it all grows out again. In the meantime, I hope that the drama ends soon because really? it's just HAIR Sampson.
There will be no photos to accompany this post because my son might actually kill me if I point a camera at him right now. You'll just have to trust me when I say, he's as fabulous as always, hair or no hair. Really.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Trying to keep up
It's finally spring in Michigan. That means well, no more snow. Maybe. It has however, been warmish and damp and sunny. Everyone is enjoying less bundling up, no more mittens and gloves and playing outside. Spring also means the whole neighborhood starts coming out of hibernation. Everyone is a little more social and happy and nice.
However, I find myself not feeling well. I haven't been sick really but my throat is constantly a little sore and I am having this horrid neck and shoulder pain that leaves me with headaches every afternoon. I feel run down and exhausted and I can't seem to kick it.
In other news, I am thinking that if I don't start cooking and baking again, I am going to have to turn in my foodie card. I cook dinner every night but nothing fabulous, exciting, new or amazing. Just dinner. So, it's on my list of things to do...start cooking again. I have been reading plenty of food blogs, it's a start right?
Monte and I are working up the motivation to finish our home redecorating. We have decided the carpet isn't really the color we ordered and are trying to decide how to resolve that and we need to start painting this weekend.
I am going to finish this post by commenting on Facebook. Seriously folks, I have been found by junior high friends. How fun is that? Craziness. I can't decide if Facebook is the best or worst thing that ever happened to society. Time will tell.
However, I find myself not feeling well. I haven't been sick really but my throat is constantly a little sore and I am having this horrid neck and shoulder pain that leaves me with headaches every afternoon. I feel run down and exhausted and I can't seem to kick it.
In other news, I am thinking that if I don't start cooking and baking again, I am going to have to turn in my foodie card. I cook dinner every night but nothing fabulous, exciting, new or amazing. Just dinner. So, it's on my list of things to do...start cooking again. I have been reading plenty of food blogs, it's a start right?
Monte and I are working up the motivation to finish our home redecorating. We have decided the carpet isn't really the color we ordered and are trying to decide how to resolve that and we need to start painting this weekend.
I am going to finish this post by commenting on Facebook. Seriously folks, I have been found by junior high friends. How fun is that? Craziness. I can't decide if Facebook is the best or worst thing that ever happened to society. Time will tell.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Girls Night Out. Kind of.
Now that the kids are getting older, weekends (and in particular Friday nights) have become a logistical game of who is coming and going and how and when and where and why. Teenagers never make plans until the last minute so my drive home on Friday is a barrage of phone calls attempting to get everyone where they want to be. Monte and I wait to see how it all shakes out and then we decide what we are going to do with whatever children end up at our house. Or we throw a pizza at them and go out alone.
Last night was no exception. Zech was away visiting Michigan State and seeing the Lion King with his class and would not be home until midnight or so. Check. Jake invited his friend over after school and to maybe spend the night. Could I please bring them home some pop and snacks and maybe pizza? Check. Eli had a birthday party that was a sleepover right here in the neighborhood and had the gift that I picked up a gift on my lunch hour with me. After many discussions about the gift, what he was allowed to bring, what he needed to pack, what time we were going, he was settled. Check. Then Monte called and said he had to work late.
So, I called back to the house and asked my daughter if she would like to have dinner with her favorite mom. Her answer? "Well, maybe because my friend invited me for a sleepover, I am waiting for her to call back." Wow. I've been dissed by my eight year old who doesn't generally want me out of her sight!
As it turns out, I got home, wrapped the gift, took Eli to his party, picked up pizza and pop and brought it home for the teenagers in my basement. Baila had not heard from her friend by then so we went out and enjoyed a lovely dinner. She is SO funny to spend one on one time with. I love the things she talks about and we have a blast together. It's those moments that fill my heart because while I am so happy for my kids that they have friends and full lives, I realize they are moving away from me very quickly and nothing I do will change that. I just try to capture those rare moments when I have their undivided attention and hold them in my heart.
After a lovely dinner discussing a number of interesting GIRLS ONLY things, we came home to discover her friend did call and so off we went again to drop her off for a sleepover, I stopped at the store to pick up some ice cream for Monte and I, came home and promptly passed out on the couch. My wonderful husband took a photo of me and posted it on Facebook. Nice. Exhibit A: Exhausted mom on the run crashes as soon as she sits down.
After all of that, I woke up and realized I had to wait for Z to call me to come get him when they returned to the school so I figured I could do a little cleaning while I waited. I realized that it was 12:15 on a Friday night and I was cleaning the kitchen floor on my hands and knees. I really know how to PARTY! Wow, am I getting OLD.
Today I have decided to hop in the Subaru (I love driving that car) and head to Toledo to do some shower planning with my mom and her sister in law. I'm going alone so I can listen to my bad, boring, stupid and outdated music as loud as I want with no one to comment and am looking forward to a nice day with people who understand that a Girls Night Out means something very different than it once did! Right after I vacuum with my new Dyson....:)
Last night was no exception. Zech was away visiting Michigan State and seeing the Lion King with his class and would not be home until midnight or so. Check. Jake invited his friend over after school and to maybe spend the night. Could I please bring them home some pop and snacks and maybe pizza? Check. Eli had a birthday party that was a sleepover right here in the neighborhood and had the gift that I picked up a gift on my lunch hour with me. After many discussions about the gift, what he was allowed to bring, what he needed to pack, what time we were going, he was settled. Check. Then Monte called and said he had to work late.
So, I called back to the house and asked my daughter if she would like to have dinner with her favorite mom. Her answer? "Well, maybe because my friend invited me for a sleepover, I am waiting for her to call back." Wow. I've been dissed by my eight year old who doesn't generally want me out of her sight!
As it turns out, I got home, wrapped the gift, took Eli to his party, picked up pizza and pop and brought it home for the teenagers in my basement. Baila had not heard from her friend by then so we went out and enjoyed a lovely dinner. She is SO funny to spend one on one time with. I love the things she talks about and we have a blast together. It's those moments that fill my heart because while I am so happy for my kids that they have friends and full lives, I realize they are moving away from me very quickly and nothing I do will change that. I just try to capture those rare moments when I have their undivided attention and hold them in my heart.
After a lovely dinner discussing a number of interesting GIRLS ONLY things, we came home to discover her friend did call and so off we went again to drop her off for a sleepover, I stopped at the store to pick up some ice cream for Monte and I, came home and promptly passed out on the couch. My wonderful husband took a photo of me and posted it on Facebook. Nice. Exhibit A: Exhausted mom on the run crashes as soon as she sits down.
After all of that, I woke up and realized I had to wait for Z to call me to come get him when they returned to the school so I figured I could do a little cleaning while I waited. I realized that it was 12:15 on a Friday night and I was cleaning the kitchen floor on my hands and knees. I really know how to PARTY! Wow, am I getting OLD.
Today I have decided to hop in the Subaru (I love driving that car) and head to Toledo to do some shower planning with my mom and her sister in law. I'm going alone so I can listen to my bad, boring, stupid and outdated music as loud as I want with no one to comment and am looking forward to a nice day with people who understand that a Girls Night Out means something very different than it once did! Right after I vacuum with my new Dyson....:)
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Sixteen
Zechariah,
The day you were born I became a mom and you and I started on this adventure together. From the moment I knew you were coming, I was in love and the moment I held you in my arms, I was forever changed.
There are distinct advantages and disadvantages to being the oldest child. The biggest disadvantage is that every single stage of your life is uncharted territory and I have often found myself navigating with no map, no GPS and no idea where we were going to find ourselves. You were the first child I ever had to diaper, bathe, nurse, wean, feed, potty train, send to school, discipline and slowly let go into the world. Every time I have started to feel like I had a firm grasp on parenting you, you would change the rules and off we would go again...
From the beginning, you have had this HUGE personality. As a baby, I called you "little papa" because you looked like a wise little man with so much to say. Once you started talking, I realized that I was right. You always had to so much to share, so many questions, so many thoughts and opinions. You have always exhausted and amazed me. So much of who you are today, I saw in you as a little boy.
If I have any regrets in life Zech, it is that I wasn't always there to protect you. That you learned far too early what a scary place this world is and that there are people who can and will hurt you. I never could have imagined in those early years while I held you while you slept so I would not miss one breath, that the day would come when I couldn't stop the world from hurting you. This is something that has changed us both forever. And even as I have watched you hurt and could not hug and kiss it better, my heart broke with yours over and over again.
Sixteen years. You have experienced and lived so much in such a short time. And yet, your whole life is ahead of you. You have grown taller and stronger than me. You are still my little baby boy and sometimes I have to look twice because I don't recognize you behind the facial hair and muscles.
Yes, we have traveled this journey to sixteen together. At times you were so connected to me that you wouldn't let me out of your sight and there were other times that you wanted me as far away as I could possibly get. It hasn't been easy but my love for you is as constant as your very heartbeat and nothing will ever change that.
Today I see an amazing person standing before me. You have everything within to change the world. It's so cliche and absurd to say but you really are a diamond in the rough. You have yet to discover who you are and what you have to offer the world. But I see it all and I can't wait for you to discover what I already know.
Look deep inside and you will see what I do. Wisdom, strength and kindness. You have always been so nurturing to those most vulnerable. It is a part of who you are. You call things as you see them, you don't tolerate injustice or hypocrisy and you are one of the most charming people alive. You can use words to express yourself in ways most can not and your words can cut people straight to the core of who they are. You are intuitive and feel things deeper than most. These traits have been both a blessing and a curse to you but I pray that you will learn to see them as strengths and take ownership of who and what you are and what you were created to be.
You have many years of life yet to travel and I want to be with you every step of the way, I'll bring the map.
Love, Mom
The day you were born I became a mom and you and I started on this adventure together. From the moment I knew you were coming, I was in love and the moment I held you in my arms, I was forever changed.
There are distinct advantages and disadvantages to being the oldest child. The biggest disadvantage is that every single stage of your life is uncharted territory and I have often found myself navigating with no map, no GPS and no idea where we were going to find ourselves. You were the first child I ever had to diaper, bathe, nurse, wean, feed, potty train, send to school, discipline and slowly let go into the world. Every time I have started to feel like I had a firm grasp on parenting you, you would change the rules and off we would go again...
From the beginning, you have had this HUGE personality. As a baby, I called you "little papa" because you looked like a wise little man with so much to say. Once you started talking, I realized that I was right. You always had to so much to share, so many questions, so many thoughts and opinions. You have always exhausted and amazed me. So much of who you are today, I saw in you as a little boy.
If I have any regrets in life Zech, it is that I wasn't always there to protect you. That you learned far too early what a scary place this world is and that there are people who can and will hurt you. I never could have imagined in those early years while I held you while you slept so I would not miss one breath, that the day would come when I couldn't stop the world from hurting you. This is something that has changed us both forever. And even as I have watched you hurt and could not hug and kiss it better, my heart broke with yours over and over again.
Sixteen years. You have experienced and lived so much in such a short time. And yet, your whole life is ahead of you. You have grown taller and stronger than me. You are still my little baby boy and sometimes I have to look twice because I don't recognize you behind the facial hair and muscles.
Yes, we have traveled this journey to sixteen together. At times you were so connected to me that you wouldn't let me out of your sight and there were other times that you wanted me as far away as I could possibly get. It hasn't been easy but my love for you is as constant as your very heartbeat and nothing will ever change that.
Today I see an amazing person standing before me. You have everything within to change the world. It's so cliche and absurd to say but you really are a diamond in the rough. You have yet to discover who you are and what you have to offer the world. But I see it all and I can't wait for you to discover what I already know.
Look deep inside and you will see what I do. Wisdom, strength and kindness. You have always been so nurturing to those most vulnerable. It is a part of who you are. You call things as you see them, you don't tolerate injustice or hypocrisy and you are one of the most charming people alive. You can use words to express yourself in ways most can not and your words can cut people straight to the core of who they are. You are intuitive and feel things deeper than most. These traits have been both a blessing and a curse to you but I pray that you will learn to see them as strengths and take ownership of who and what you are and what you were created to be.
You have many years of life yet to travel and I want to be with you every step of the way, I'll bring the map.
Love, Mom
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