Our Baila Bee. Happy Birthday!!!

Monte's tribute to Zech's first Father's Day

My Monte

I just remembered that I have a blog! I can't explain why I never find time to write here, I certainly have plenty to write about!

Today is Father's Day and since I am a sentimental kind of girl, I always find myself being reflective on red letter days. So if you don't mind, I am going to dust off my old blog here and use it to honor my Monte today.

Monte married me having had no children of his own. Asking me to be his wife involved taking on my four crazy children as his own. The day he got down on one knee and told me that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, I knew that he would not only love me forever but ALL of me, which included my children ages 13, 11, 8 and 6. He did not make this decision quickly or without much time and thought. He knew, as well as I did that this would change his life in every way imaginable and that we didn't get to just ride off happily into the sunset but that he was going to be gaining an instant family. A BIG family, with a teenager no less.

Those of you that know Monte or who have been on this journey with us know that he has done and amazing job and that we have managed to blend our family with great success. But there are many thing you might not know and these are the things I want to share with you today:

Monte makes us laugh everyday. Yes, everyday. There is no way to detail for you the various way he makes this family laugh out loud but just trust me when I say, he brings so much laugter and joy and lightheartedness to our family. We needed that.

Monte will do whatever needs to be done. (Except laundry). He cooks, he cleans, he does homework, he drives kids here there and everywhere, he buys slurpees, he disciplines, he loves, he tucks kids into bed, he even can pull of a fairly decent ponytail in a pinch. He isn't a spectator, he is part of the team, he rolls up his sleeves and gets dirty. He is involved and commited and 100% in this.

Monte has a very sensitive heart. I have learned to be more kind and patient and giving and gentle because I learned early on that my words or attitude, when not considered, could hurt him. I was shocked by this because I love so deeply but I am also bossy and busy and opinionated. I learned that it's not enough to mean well, or to feel love but to live it. In words and actions and attitude. He tells me and shows me every single day how much he loves me.

Monte admits when he's wrong. I have been a parent for 17 years. Monte has been a parent for 4. In many cases, he is the better parent. He isn't tired. He is fresh and new to this and has been a respite to my weary single parent soul. However, there are things I have learend along the way and I know my kids better than anyone else in the world. He knows that and he doesn't let his ego get in the way. He defers to me when I ask him to or when he instinctively knows he should. This makes us a fabulous team.

Monte gives us his best. We are all ourselves at home. We can let all of our faults hang out, we can be loved for who we are, flaws and all in this family. But sometimes, that means we give the world out best and our family gets the worst of us. Monte has taughts us to give each other our best. To be ourselves AND to give to our family to best of what we have to give.

Monte loves all of us with all of his heart. When we got the news that Novella was born, he named himself Poppy and embraced her with all of his heart. You should see her face light up when she sees him, his love has captured not just me, but all of us. His great big heart has pulled us all together as a family, a crazy imperfect family that loves one another no matter what happens.

There are a million more things I could say but I think you are getting the point.

Happy Father's Day Monte. You are the best bonus dad anyone could ask for. You have loved us whole, you have patiently become the Dad in this house by earning everyone's respect and heart with your commitment and love. I am so proud to be your wife and I am so thankful to have you to share all of the joy and sadness that life brings. Here's to many many many more years of craziness!

Miracles

I believe in miracles.

On October 23, my granddaughter was born. I won't go into all of the reasons why this was an unexpected shock, but it was. And yet, she is a perfect, beautiful and healthy little girl who has already touched all of our lives.

Tonight my sister in law gave birth to my first neice. Gabrielle Elizabeth is a preemie. She weighs 1pound, 1ounce. My mom called to report that she is beautiful and amazing. I have no doubt and I can't wait to get to Toledo to see her!

All four of my children came after months of anticipation and preparation. I spent many hours reading, learning, preparing, cleaning, packing, nesting. But I have learned that sometimes miracles come into our lives without warning or preparation.

Welcome to the family our little miracles. I can't wait to see what life has in store for you both.

I love you already...

Baila Bee

Baila Bee, I can't believe I missed your birthday post. It's certainly not because your NINTH birthday was without much fanfare and excitement! Your birthday fell during recital week. And what a week it was! You took three dance classes this year which meant three dances, three costumes and, as luck would have it, three different nights of performing. We were worn out, you were positively energized! The last performance fell on the day after your birthday and your Papa and Bushia and Grammie and Grandma all came from Toledo to see you. Afterwards, we had a perfectly pink party complete with a three tier pink cake to celebrate you.

I wish I could express to you the joy that comes from watching you perform. You are amazing, you light up from within, you shine. I am actually brought to tears watching you. Last year, you were very shy about performing in front of us. We begged and bribed but you would not do it. And then came last year's recital and something happened, you came alive on stage and have not looked back since. You were invited to audition for the competitive team and you just gave it all you had. No one surprised when you were offered a spot in the junior competitive team. I am looking forward to seeing what this talent takes you.

At the end of this school year, you brought home an award from your teacher, she named you, Baila Firecracker Lakatos. Boy, does she know you Baila Elizabeth! You are a firecracker at home, at school, at dance and everywhere you go. You are full of joy and excitement and passion and emotion. You had perfect attendance this past school year and you excel and meet expectations at every turn.

You also make friends everywhere you go. With much hesitation, I sent you to overnight camp for four days with Eli and some friends. I was so worried about you being homesick and so far away but you loved every single minute of it and the strangers you met when you arrived where you best friends at the end of four days. You have so much confidence it astounds me. Even though the sun seems to shine on you and you are beautiful and smart and talented and funny, you are simply one of the kindest little girls I have ever known.

What makes you so special Baila is your sensitive and loving heart. You feel and perceive what others do not. You have such capacity for love and empathy. You crave the heart to heart connection that only a mother and daughter can share and it's such a gift to give you all the love you demand.

You are such a little pig. You leave clothes and books and bags and markers and notebooks in your constant wake. You are always creating. Drawing, writing, imgaining...you are oblivious to the disaster that follows. I have taken to calling you my little piggie. You clean your room by shoving everyting in your huge closet. Every few months, I take out lare garage bags of trash from that closet and you never miss a thing! It took me an hour to sort out all of the millions of things you brought home on the last day of school! The bag was so heavy, you sat on the sidewalk and cried because you couldn't carry it all the way home from the bus stop!

Every night we have a ritual. When I'm tired, I tend to miss the blessing of spending this special time with you. I tuck you and Princess Emily in, tell you sweet dreams and we brainstorm what you can dream about. You always make me promise I will check on you before I go to bed.

Baila, my wish for you is that you always have sweet dreams and I will always be here for you as long as God gives me life because you are my girl!!!

Fourteen

Jacob Daniel. Fourteen. I can’t believe it. As I think about what to write to you today on your birthday, my eyes fill with tears and my heart can’t contain the love and joy that you bring into my life. You are such an amazing kid and I think that so many people overlook that or don’t know it because of your laid back nature. However, please know that I know how amazing you are and I am confident that you can and will surprise us all!

When I think back over your childhood I think of a super skinny and hairy little infant who did nothing but sleep. (And also that you were the most painful of all my births, you’re welcome).Then I think of you in your Winnie the Pooh and Thomas the Tank Engine underoos. You hated wearing clothes and ran around in underwear as much as you could get away with it. (You’re welcome, again.) You loved Thomas the Tank engine and Veggie Tales and loved nothing more than lining up all of your “people” and trains in a long line around the living room rug. You looked up to your brother Zech and called him “Gacky” for years. I also think of you in your boy scout uniform with your pants pulled up and your belt pulled as tight as you could get it to keep your pants on your skinny frame. You wore all of your pants that way. You never believed me when I told you that when you did that, it made your pants three inches too short. You sported that style for years until stores started making those elastic pulls with buttons in the waistline. They were created just for you, the tall and really skinny kids. You were a sight in elementary school with your pants hiked up as high as you could get them. But you didn’t care, you wanted them that way, you were comfortable and that was that.

This brings me to the fact that you, Jacob Daniel, are the world’s MOST stubborn person alive. I don’t say that lightly because I come from a long line of stubborn. But you Jake, you take the cake. When you were younger if we went toe to toe about an issue you would rather DIE than back down. You hate it when things don’t seem “fair” and you dig in your heels and never give up. There were times when I had to just walk away for fear of the world ending from the sheer force of our stubborn personalities colliding. However, if that was the end of the story, we would all be in trouble. Luckily, you rarely, if ever give anyone an ounce of trouble and those struggles are few and far between.

You really do strive to be a good person and do the right thing. I have watched you grow into the most amazing person since we arrived in Waterford. You have certainly thrived in our new family and community. When I dropped you off for your first day of sixth grade, I cried. I cried because you were the new kid and because it was your first day of middle school and because you seemed so little and not yet ready for the big school full of strangers that you were facing. But I didn’t need to worry at all. You made friends quickly and easily and loved being at Pierce. You have developed a very special friendship with your new cousin Drew and many others. You fit right in and one would never guess that you were the new kid on the block. You have also grown about 7 inches and are now taller than me and your older brother. What’s that about kid?

I particularly have loved watching your relationship with Monte develop. You two crack me up with your antics and road trips to 7-11 for slurpies. You are always willing to volunteer to help him with whatever he needs and more importantly, you have helped to make him feel a part of the Lakatos Five Family with your quiet acceptance and kindness. I love watching you do father/son things and know that the bond you have forged will help guide you throughout your life.

You love to talk but you don’t talk about deep things or tell me much. I have to really listen to hear what you are saying and even if it doesn’t seem like it, I am always listening. In some ways I think your thoughts and feelings run far deeper than we all realize but you don’t wear them out there on your sleeve. You live you life, day in and day out being content and happy and at peace. You do the right thing, you are dependable and responsible, you make friends wherever you go, and you make the best out of what life brings you. You are thankful and grateful (most of the time) and happy.

You have expressed how excited you are to enter high school next year and I find myself once again watching from the sidelines, in disbelief that it’s time for you to enter the next phase in your life. However, I am also excited with you because I know you will love high school and everything it has to offer you. I can’t wait to see what the next four years bring us. I pray that you experience nothing but happiness and success! But if you do not, we are here for you. That’s a promise.

I love you Jakey. You are a true gift to me and to our entire family. Happy Birthday!

Dear Soccer Parents

Dear Soccer Moms and Dads:

Do you honestly think that "coaching from the sidelines" is going to make your child a better soccer player? Do you honestly think that you are teaching them anything by SCREAMING at them when they are already doing the best they can? They are children. And they are doing their best. They are having fun out there. They love you and you are destroying their self esteem by saying things like, "I'm going to put you in ballet...." Oh and by the way, what if your son WANTED to be in ballet? What's wrong with that??!! Anything your child would and will choose to do will require YOUR support and encouragement. These aren't soccer pros, they are KIDS! Relax. Enjoy the game.

And one more thing, when MY son misses the goal as goalie, GET OVER IT because he is still a star to me!

In short, CHILL THE HECK OUT for crying out loud.