This has been quite a week. Last week, I really wasn't feeling well so I went to the dr. She tested me for mono and strep and ordered blood work to check my thyroid and some other things. I waited for the results of the mono and strep tests. Negative. So off to work I went. I rested quite a bit over the weekend and started the week off feeling better. Not fabulous but much better.
Last week I also had my first mammogram. I had been given orders three times over the last couple of years and never followed through. A conversation with my friend and co-worker Aubrey convinced me to finally follow through (actually I believe she said she would be relentless until I scheduled so I did it to get her off of my back). That's what friends are for, right? I scheduled for early morning and it was done and over with and I was at my desk before I normally would be. Easy as pie. Check it off my list of things to do.
That was until, they called me a couple of days later and said they needed me to come back to follow up on some areas on the right side. Great. I took the first available appointment the follow Tuesday afternoon.
I wasn't really too worried about it. I know it's fairly standard. I was very busy Monday and Tuesday so I planned to just drive across the street from my office, get a quick ultrasound, rule out any problems and get on with my day. Now you know that if that is how things actually transpired, I would not be wasting my time telling you about it right?
I arrived about noon and was told they needed to take additional images of my right side. So, I went in and saw my films from last week hanging there with some areas circled. I did not like that. I was tortured for about 20 minutes and she was able to obtain about 5 more images. She told me that the films would be given to the doctor to review and then they would either send me on my merry way or do an ultrasound.
Well, I wasn't lucky enough to get sent on my merry way. An ultrasound was ordered. That took forever. I was laying there thinking about all the ultrasounds I had when I was having babies. The first one when I was barely pregnant with Zech and couldn't tell what I was looking at except for that beating heart. I won't bore you with the depth of my thoughts and memories but I was thinking about how each time I was filled with such emotion and hopes and dreams and expectation and how life has often presented me with things much differently that what was expected and certainly didn't line up with my feelings but turned out to be so much more than I ever imagined and then I feel asleep. Yes, the ultrasound was THAT LONG. Finally, she stopped, I woke up and she said she would be right back.
I waited and waited and only then did I start to worry. I had been there much longer than anticipated. Things weren't going as I expected and I really just wanted to get back to work. After waiting a few more minutes, the doctor arrived with the ultrasound tech. I have never met this dr before. I am laying on the table, topless when he introduces himself. I don't get up. I ask him if I should be concerned about anything. He tells me that there are a couple of areas he has viewed on both the mammogram images and the ultrasound that he would like to take a better look at. So, he is going to take a look at the ultrasound himself. He takes another forever and finally says that I do have cysts. Nothing to be concerned with at all. However, there is one area of tissue that isn't consistent with the area around it and isn't a cyst. He wants to biopsy this tissue.
I felt like things are happening too fast. I didn't expect all of this. I am there alone, I want to call Monte and talk to him. But I realize that the only thing I need to do at this point is move along with the procedure. He gave me the option of rescheduling but I figured now was the time to get results. They left the room to prep and I quickly text messaged Monte and Aubrey at work to let them know I was going to need a biopsy.
Things happened quickly. Next thing I know I was laying on my side, being cut into. It was all very uncomfortable, very overwhelming and I just wanted it to be over. It didn't really take very long but it felt like forever. When they were done, they put a tiny titanium marker in the area the shape of the breast cancer ribbon. That will make the spot where the tissue was removed for future mammograms or, if it's cancer, to guide the surgeon. Guide the surgeon to do WHAT, I thought but didn't ask.
After the dr was done, the nurse came in and cleaned me up, closed up the incision and gave me instructions. I carefully got dressed and went back to work feeling very strange and wondering what and how all of that just happened. That night, I came home and there was a message from my regular doctor stating that she was calling to follow up with my on bloodwork. Of course the office was closed and then I started imagining the worst. Ugh.
The next morning I decided to trust and believe that everything is going to be fine. A call to my dr revealed that my bloodwork all came back in the normal range. Now I just have to wait to get a good report of the biopsy and it will all be behind me.
There were other parts of my week that were hard as well. The kids read this blog (I think) so I will refrain from discussing my difficult and frustrating appointment in Toledo but that was the very next day and it was not a trip I wanted to take.
However, it's all behind me now. Monte was the world's best husband all week and I have pretty much recovered from the experience. I am looking forward to Monday when they call to tell me the good news.
Either way, I am glad that I made the call to schedule. As a mom, I always take care of myself last. I work full time, I drag the kids to dentist, eye drs, checkups, dance, soccer, conferences, etc and so on. I work hard to meet the needs of my husband and keep up with the house and there is little time left to take care of anything else. I am trying to do better at making sure I take care of myself so I can keep meeting the needs of my family. It's not easy but important.
And that is something we are struggle with as women. From now on, let's work harder at taking care of ourselves and each other. I'm in, are you?
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