I believe in miracles.
On October 23, my granddaughter was born. I won't go into all of the reasons why this was an unexpected shock, but it was. And yet, she is a perfect, beautiful and healthy little girl who has already touched all of our lives.
Tonight my sister in law gave birth to my first neice. Gabrielle Elizabeth is a preemie. She weighs 1pound, 1ounce. My mom called to report that she is beautiful and amazing. I have no doubt and I can't wait to get to Toledo to see her!
All four of my children came after months of anticipation and preparation. I spent many hours reading, learning, preparing, cleaning, packing, nesting. But I have learned that sometimes miracles come into our lives without warning or preparation.
Welcome to the family our little miracles. I can't wait to see what life has in store for you both.
I love you already...
Monday, November 30, 2009
Monday, July 13, 2009
Baila Bee
Baila Bee, I can't believe I missed your birthday post. It's certainly not because your NINTH birthday was without much fanfare and excitement! Your birthday fell during recital week. And what a week it was! You took three dance classes this year which meant three dances, three costumes and, as luck would have it, three different nights of performing. We were worn out, you were positively energized! The last performance fell on the day after your birthday and your Papa and Bushia and Grammie and Grandma all came from Toledo to see you. Afterwards, we had a perfectly pink party complete with a three tier pink cake to celebrate you.I wish I could express to you the joy that comes from watching you perform. You are amazing, you light up from within, you shine. I am actually brought to tears watching you. Last year, you were very shy about performing in front of us. We begged and bribed but you would not do it. And then came last year's recital and something happened, you came alive on stage and have not looked back since. You were invited to audition for the competitive team and you just gave it all you had. No one surprised when you were offered a spot in the junior competitive team. I am looking forward to seeing what this talent takes you.
At the end of this school year, you brought home an award from your teacher, she named you, Baila Firecracker Lakatos. Boy, does she know you Baila Elizabeth! You are a firecracker at home, at school, at dance and everywhere you go. You are full of joy and excitement and passion and emotion. You had perfect attendance this past school year and you excel and meet expectations at every turn.
You also make friends everywhere you go. With much hesitation, I sent you to overnight camp for four days with Eli and some friends. I was so worried about you being homesick and so far away but you loved every single minute of it and the strangers you met when you arrived where you best friends at the end of four days. You have so much confidence it astounds me. Even though the sun seems to shine on you and you are beautiful and smart and talented and funny, you are simply one of the kindest little girls I have ever known.
What makes you so special Baila is your sensitive and loving heart. You feel and perceive what others do not. You have such capacity for love and empathy. You crave the heart to heart connection that only a mother and daughter can share and it's such a gift to give you all the love you demand.
You are such a little pig. You leave clothes and books and bags and markers and notebooks in your constant wake. You are always creating. Drawing, writing, imgaining...you are oblivious to the disaster that follows. I have taken to calling you my little piggie. You clean your room by shoving everyting in your huge closet. Every few months, I take out lare garage bags of trash from that closet and you never miss a thing! It took me an hour to sort out all of the millions of things you brought home on the last day of school! The bag was so heavy, you sat on the sidewalk and cried because you couldn't carry it all the way home from the bus stop!
Every night we have a ritual. When I'm tired, I tend to miss the blessing of spending this special time with you. I tuck you and Princess Emily in, tell you sweet dreams and we brainstorm what you can dream about. You always make me promise I will check on you before I go to bed.
Baila, my wish for you is that you always have sweet dreams and I will always be here for you as long as God gives me life because you are my girl!!!
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Fourteen
Jacob Daniel. Fourteen. I can’t believe it. As I think about what to write to you today on your birthday, my eyes fill with tears and my heart can’t contain the love and joy that you bring into my life. You are such an amazing kid and I think that so many people overlook that or don’t know it because of your laid back nature. However, please know that I know how amazing you are and I am confident that you can and will surprise us all!
When I think back over your childhood I think of a super skinny and hairy little infant who did nothing but sleep. (And also that you were the most painful of all my births, you’re welcome).Then I think of you in your Winnie the Pooh and Thomas the Tank Engine underoos. You hated wearing clothes and ran around in underwear as much as you could get away with it. (You’re welcome, again.) You loved Thomas the Tank engine and Veggie Tales and loved nothing more than lining up all of your “people” and trains in a long line around the living room rug. You looked up to your brother Zech and called him “Gacky” for years. I also think of you in your boy scout uniform with your pants pulled up and your belt pulled as tight as you could get it to keep your pants on your skinny frame. You wore all of your pants that way. You never believed me when I told you that when you did that, it made your pants three inches too short. You sported that style for years until stores started making those elastic pulls with buttons in the waistline. They were created just for you, the tall and really skinny kids. You were a sight in elementary school with your pants hiked up as high as you could get them. But you didn’t care, you wanted them that way, you were comfortable and that was that.
This brings me to the fact that you, Jacob Daniel, are the world’s MOST stubborn person alive. I don’t say that lightly because I come from a long line of stubborn. But you Jake, you take the cake. When you were younger if we went toe to toe about an issue you would rather DIE than back down. You hate it when things don’t seem “fair” and you dig in your heels and never give up. There were times when I had to just walk away for fear of the world ending from the sheer force of our stubborn personalities colliding. However, if that was the end of the story, we would all be in trouble. Luckily, you rarely, if ever give anyone an ounce of trouble and those struggles are few and far between.
You really do strive to be a good person and do the right thing. I have watched you grow into the most amazing person since we arrived in Waterford. You have certainly thrived in our new family and community. When I dropped you off for your first day of sixth grade, I cried. I cried because you were the new kid and because it was your first day of middle school and because you seemed so little and not yet ready for the big school full of strangers that you were facing. But I didn’t need to worry at all. You made friends quickly and easily and loved being at Pierce. You have developed a very special friendship with your new cousin Drew and many others. You fit right in and one would never guess that you were the new kid on the block. You have also grown about 7 inches and are now taller than me and your older brother. What’s that about kid?
I particularly have loved watching your relationship with Monte develop. You two crack me up with your antics and road trips to 7-11 for slurpies. You are always willing to volunteer to help him with whatever he needs and more importantly, you have helped to make him feel a part of the Lakatos Five Family with your quiet acceptance and kindness. I love watching you do father/son things and know that the bond you have forged will help guide you throughout your life.
You love to talk but you don’t talk about deep things or tell me much. I have to really listen to hear what you are saying and even if it doesn’t seem like it, I am always listening. In some ways I think your thoughts and feelings run far deeper than we all realize but you don’t wear them out there on your sleeve. You live you life, day in and day out being content and happy and at peace. You do the right thing, you are dependable and responsible, you make friends wherever you go, and you make the best out of what life brings you. You are thankful and grateful (most of the time) and happy.
You have expressed how excited you are to enter high school next year and I find myself once again watching from the sidelines, in disbelief that it’s time for you to enter the next phase in your life. However, I am also excited with you because I know you will love high school and everything it has to offer you. I can’t wait to see what the next four years bring us. I pray that you experience nothing but happiness and success! But if you do not, we are here for you. That’s a promise.
I love you Jakey. You are a true gift to me and to our entire family. Happy Birthday!
When I think back over your childhood I think of a super skinny and hairy little infant who did nothing but sleep. (And also that you were the most painful of all my births, you’re welcome).Then I think of you in your Winnie the Pooh and Thomas the Tank Engine underoos. You hated wearing clothes and ran around in underwear as much as you could get away with it. (You’re welcome, again.) You loved Thomas the Tank engine and Veggie Tales and loved nothing more than lining up all of your “people” and trains in a long line around the living room rug. You looked up to your brother Zech and called him “Gacky” for years. I also think of you in your boy scout uniform with your pants pulled up and your belt pulled as tight as you could get it to keep your pants on your skinny frame. You wore all of your pants that way. You never believed me when I told you that when you did that, it made your pants three inches too short. You sported that style for years until stores started making those elastic pulls with buttons in the waistline. They were created just for you, the tall and really skinny kids. You were a sight in elementary school with your pants hiked up as high as you could get them. But you didn’t care, you wanted them that way, you were comfortable and that was that.
This brings me to the fact that you, Jacob Daniel, are the world’s MOST stubborn person alive. I don’t say that lightly because I come from a long line of stubborn. But you Jake, you take the cake. When you were younger if we went toe to toe about an issue you would rather DIE than back down. You hate it when things don’t seem “fair” and you dig in your heels and never give up. There were times when I had to just walk away for fear of the world ending from the sheer force of our stubborn personalities colliding. However, if that was the end of the story, we would all be in trouble. Luckily, you rarely, if ever give anyone an ounce of trouble and those struggles are few and far between.
You really do strive to be a good person and do the right thing. I have watched you grow into the most amazing person since we arrived in Waterford. You have certainly thrived in our new family and community. When I dropped you off for your first day of sixth grade, I cried. I cried because you were the new kid and because it was your first day of middle school and because you seemed so little and not yet ready for the big school full of strangers that you were facing. But I didn’t need to worry at all. You made friends quickly and easily and loved being at Pierce. You have developed a very special friendship with your new cousin Drew and many others. You fit right in and one would never guess that you were the new kid on the block. You have also grown about 7 inches and are now taller than me and your older brother. What’s that about kid?
I particularly have loved watching your relationship with Monte develop. You two crack me up with your antics and road trips to 7-11 for slurpies. You are always willing to volunteer to help him with whatever he needs and more importantly, you have helped to make him feel a part of the Lakatos Five Family with your quiet acceptance and kindness. I love watching you do father/son things and know that the bond you have forged will help guide you throughout your life.
You love to talk but you don’t talk about deep things or tell me much. I have to really listen to hear what you are saying and even if it doesn’t seem like it, I am always listening. In some ways I think your thoughts and feelings run far deeper than we all realize but you don’t wear them out there on your sleeve. You live you life, day in and day out being content and happy and at peace. You do the right thing, you are dependable and responsible, you make friends wherever you go, and you make the best out of what life brings you. You are thankful and grateful (most of the time) and happy.
You have expressed how excited you are to enter high school next year and I find myself once again watching from the sidelines, in disbelief that it’s time for you to enter the next phase in your life. However, I am also excited with you because I know you will love high school and everything it has to offer you. I can’t wait to see what the next four years bring us. I pray that you experience nothing but happiness and success! But if you do not, we are here for you. That’s a promise.
I love you Jakey. You are a true gift to me and to our entire family. Happy Birthday!
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Dear Soccer Parents
Dear Soccer Moms and Dads:
Do you honestly think that "coaching from the sidelines" is going to make your child a better soccer player? Do you honestly think that you are teaching them anything by SCREAMING at them when they are already doing the best they can? They are children. And they are doing their best. They are having fun out there. They love you and you are destroying their self esteem by saying things like, "I'm going to put you in ballet...." Oh and by the way, what if your son WANTED to be in ballet? What's wrong with that??!! Anything your child would and will choose to do will require YOUR support and encouragement. These aren't soccer pros, they are KIDS! Relax. Enjoy the game.
And one more thing, when MY son misses the goal as goalie, GET OVER IT because he is still a star to me!
In short, CHILL THE HECK OUT for crying out loud.
Do you honestly think that "coaching from the sidelines" is going to make your child a better soccer player? Do you honestly think that you are teaching them anything by SCREAMING at them when they are already doing the best they can? They are children. And they are doing their best. They are having fun out there. They love you and you are destroying their self esteem by saying things like, "I'm going to put you in ballet...." Oh and by the way, what if your son WANTED to be in ballet? What's wrong with that??!! Anything your child would and will choose to do will require YOUR support and encouragement. These aren't soccer pros, they are KIDS! Relax. Enjoy the game.
And one more thing, when MY son misses the goal as goalie, GET OVER IT because he is still a star to me!
In short, CHILL THE HECK OUT for crying out loud.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Hi its me Eli I bet you missed me!!! If not... why are you reading this then. Anyways, I got my PSP my DSlite and my DS games and DS stuff and also, my PSP stuff my memory stick and my PSP game. I also got two GAMECUBE games plus a Wii game. So anyways I got all this stuff together to go to GAMESTOP to trade all that stuff for a DSi. But... My mom does NOT want to go today. So another day, another wait. So to another topic! One fine evening me and my sister went to my friends house. So it was hot out like 100 F. But then,... me and my friend Brady went outside right about to play, then BANG!!!!!!!! Wind blew everywhere! Then mother nature threw some rain in there. My sister was crying and so was her friend. Soon it was over and we went home and I went to write a blog about it.PS: I protected my sister.
Friday, April 24, 2009
All over the place
It went from being freezing and snowy to 80 something overnight. Seriously. You have to love Michigan weather. The kids are out roaming the neighborhood, Monte is golfing and Wilson is going from window to window sniffing the fresh air. I have ALLLL the windows open and fans on and am clicking through tastespotting, my favorite place on the Internet.
Life is beautiful.
Lately I feel like I have the treadmill going faster than normal and I just can't quite stay on it. Buried at work, busy at home and the kids have me running around crazy. I love my life. I love that the kids have such NORMALCY, something I didn't know if I could provide for them back in the days of sitting in synagogue all weekend or my single days of back and forth weekends. I love that they can take off on bikes and scooters and hang with the kids they go to school with and play soccer with and hang with their cousins who live in the connecting subdivision. I love soccer and dance and dinners together every single night. I love all of it. Exhausting as it all is, I love it. HOWEVER, there is really only so much one person can do (two people as Monte would like to remind stubborn me) and learning how to "not miss good for perfection" (to quote my fabulous boss) is a hard one for me.
So what else is new? We're busy and I'm tired. HA. This has been a running theme for as many years as I can remember. What IS news is that Zech got himself a job. Well, kind of. He is delivering fliers and coupons for Lucky Duck pizza door to door and holding the sign out on the street. That's right, that's my son. At least he isn't dressed like the State of Liberty! Honk and wave and tell me if he looks like he's got a good attitude! Now we are in negotiation about how much money to spend and how much to save. I don't think I have to tell you that we don't see eye to eye on the issue. Or any issue for that matter, oh teenagers, you are so much fun.
Mommies of babies listen up-enjoy those middle of the night feedings, diapers and those helpless little bundles of love because seriously you are living the EASY YEARS! That's right, it doesn't ever get any easier. You're welcome. Now, bring me one of your little non-verbal, non-mobile babies and I will give you a fiercely independent and stubborn teenager. I am running a two for the price of one! They are really cute and take out trash (if you nag them enough).
OK, I'm off. I have to park my cars on Facebook so I can win parking lot wars and then go find something to feed my crew who will undoubtedly come home eventually looking to be fed.
Enjoy this beautiful weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Life is beautiful.
Lately I feel like I have the treadmill going faster than normal and I just can't quite stay on it. Buried at work, busy at home and the kids have me running around crazy. I love my life. I love that the kids have such NORMALCY, something I didn't know if I could provide for them back in the days of sitting in synagogue all weekend or my single days of back and forth weekends. I love that they can take off on bikes and scooters and hang with the kids they go to school with and play soccer with and hang with their cousins who live in the connecting subdivision. I love soccer and dance and dinners together every single night. I love all of it. Exhausting as it all is, I love it. HOWEVER, there is really only so much one person can do (two people as Monte would like to remind stubborn me) and learning how to "not miss good for perfection" (to quote my fabulous boss) is a hard one for me.
So what else is new? We're busy and I'm tired. HA. This has been a running theme for as many years as I can remember. What IS news is that Zech got himself a job. Well, kind of. He is delivering fliers and coupons for Lucky Duck pizza door to door and holding the sign out on the street. That's right, that's my son. At least he isn't dressed like the State of Liberty! Honk and wave and tell me if he looks like he's got a good attitude! Now we are in negotiation about how much money to spend and how much to save. I don't think I have to tell you that we don't see eye to eye on the issue. Or any issue for that matter, oh teenagers, you are so much fun.
Mommies of babies listen up-enjoy those middle of the night feedings, diapers and those helpless little bundles of love because seriously you are living the EASY YEARS! That's right, it doesn't ever get any easier. You're welcome. Now, bring me one of your little non-verbal, non-mobile babies and I will give you a fiercely independent and stubborn teenager. I am running a two for the price of one! They are really cute and take out trash (if you nag them enough).
OK, I'm off. I have to park my cars on Facebook so I can win parking lot wars and then go find something to feed my crew who will undoubtedly come home eventually looking to be fed.
Enjoy this beautiful weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Interview with Baila and Eli, ages 8 and 10
What kind of a little girl was your mom?
Eli- a dancer, a caring little girl, weird hair
Baila- my mom was a ballerina, a loving child, awesome, sweet and funny
Why did your mom marry Monte?
Baila- because he was a loving man and he was very nice and funny and you loved him a lot
Eli- you married him because you love him and he’s kind of weird but in a good way and we like him like that
Who's the boss at your house?
Baila- You and Monte are both the boss. You are older than us and you remind us and tell us all the rules around the house and when we get in trouble, we listen to you sometimes and if we don’t, we get grounded.
Eli- Monte is the boss because he has better rules and he does what he says and sometimes you change your mind. If Monte says you’re grounded, you’re grounded.
What's the difference between moms and dads?
Eli- dads are different because they are more fun than moms
Baila- moms are less strict than dads and moms are more fun to shop with. Dads think of fun things like getting slurpees and playing kickball.
What does your mom do in her spare time?
Baila- she is either on the computer, cleans or takes pictures
Eli- she is usually watching tv, playing with Wilson or taking pictures
What would it take to make your mom perfect?
Baila- no one is perfect. But to make you even better, you would take us out to do fun things more
Eli- she would say yes to everything
If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
Eli- be more fun
Baila- take me out shopping more
Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
Eli- God picked you to be my mom because you loved me even before I was born and because you are a nice caring mom
Baila- God gave you to us because you are a loving and caring kind woman and you are the best mom a girl could ever have and you make a good match for all our family and I love you.
Eli- a dancer, a caring little girl, weird hair
Baila- my mom was a ballerina, a loving child, awesome, sweet and funny
Why did your mom marry Monte?
Baila- because he was a loving man and he was very nice and funny and you loved him a lot
Eli- you married him because you love him and he’s kind of weird but in a good way and we like him like that
Who's the boss at your house?
Baila- You and Monte are both the boss. You are older than us and you remind us and tell us all the rules around the house and when we get in trouble, we listen to you sometimes and if we don’t, we get grounded.
Eli- Monte is the boss because he has better rules and he does what he says and sometimes you change your mind. If Monte says you’re grounded, you’re grounded.
What's the difference between moms and dads?
Eli- dads are different because they are more fun than moms
Baila- moms are less strict than dads and moms are more fun to shop with. Dads think of fun things like getting slurpees and playing kickball.
What does your mom do in her spare time?
Baila- she is either on the computer, cleans or takes pictures
Eli- she is usually watching tv, playing with Wilson or taking pictures
What would it take to make your mom perfect?
Baila- no one is perfect. But to make you even better, you would take us out to do fun things more
Eli- she would say yes to everything
If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
Eli- be more fun
Baila- take me out shopping more
Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
Eli- God picked you to be my mom because you loved me even before I was born and because you are a nice caring mom
Baila- God gave you to us because you are a loving and caring kind woman and you are the best mom a girl could ever have and you make a good match for all our family and I love you.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
HEY!
Hello! i haven't blogged in a LONG time! i just watched american idol.We have people we picked for a contest. i only have Adam Lambert left people think he is good!
i spent the night at my friends house two nights in a row! my mom thought it was the end of the world! she BEGGED me to come home! i miss bloging.i PROMISSS i will blog more. bye!
i spent the night at my friends house two nights in a row! my mom thought it was the end of the world! she BEGGED me to come home! i miss bloging.i PROMISSS i will blog more. bye!
Monday, April 6, 2009
The Funk
My best girls and I talk about the Funk. When one of us refers to it, we don't have to define it, we know. It's that black cloud that hangs over your head, the feeling you can't shake no matter how much chocolate you eat, the fly in your...ok, you get the point.
So the Funk is hanging around me today and I am trying to do my usual and figure out WHY the Funk is here. Here are my thoughts:
Perhaps it's because it snowed again just when I thought spring had arrived and I was getting excited about linen and sandals and manicured toes and sundresses...
Perhaps it's because my husband (and very best friend)is working late and not sitting next to me at the dinner table tonight...
Perhaps it's because it's a normal work week but not really because the kids are on spring break...
Perhaps it's because I am completely unprepared for upcoming events and gatherings and I have no time or motivation to rectify this...
Perhaps it's because my baby girl, who is never too far away from me, is spending the night at a friend's house (two nights in a row) and I miss her...
Perhaphs it's because I am tired and stayed up WAY too late last night...
Perhaps it's because I miss my parents...
Perhaps it's because I am worried about the orthodontist bill...
Perhaps it's those awful wicked hormones...
I think I just need to have a glass of wine, curl up on the couch and hope tomorrow is a much sunnier day. I hope the Funk goes somewhere else for spring break!
So the Funk is hanging around me today and I am trying to do my usual and figure out WHY the Funk is here. Here are my thoughts:
Perhaps it's because it snowed again just when I thought spring had arrived and I was getting excited about linen and sandals and manicured toes and sundresses...
Perhaps it's because my husband (and very best friend)is working late and not sitting next to me at the dinner table tonight...
Perhaps it's because it's a normal work week but not really because the kids are on spring break...
Perhaps it's because I am completely unprepared for upcoming events and gatherings and I have no time or motivation to rectify this...
Perhaps it's because my baby girl, who is never too far away from me, is spending the night at a friend's house (two nights in a row) and I miss her...
Perhaphs it's because I am tired and stayed up WAY too late last night...
Perhaps it's because I miss my parents...
Perhaps it's because I am worried about the orthodontist bill...
Perhaps it's those awful wicked hormones...
I think I just need to have a glass of wine, curl up on the couch and hope tomorrow is a much sunnier day. I hope the Funk goes somewhere else for spring break!
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Rough week
This has been quite a week. Last week, I really wasn't feeling well so I went to the dr. She tested me for mono and strep and ordered blood work to check my thyroid and some other things. I waited for the results of the mono and strep tests. Negative. So off to work I went. I rested quite a bit over the weekend and started the week off feeling better. Not fabulous but much better.
Last week I also had my first mammogram. I had been given orders three times over the last couple of years and never followed through. A conversation with my friend and co-worker Aubrey convinced me to finally follow through (actually I believe she said she would be relentless until I scheduled so I did it to get her off of my back). That's what friends are for, right? I scheduled for early morning and it was done and over with and I was at my desk before I normally would be. Easy as pie. Check it off my list of things to do.
That was until, they called me a couple of days later and said they needed me to come back to follow up on some areas on the right side. Great. I took the first available appointment the follow Tuesday afternoon.
I wasn't really too worried about it. I know it's fairly standard. I was very busy Monday and Tuesday so I planned to just drive across the street from my office, get a quick ultrasound, rule out any problems and get on with my day. Now you know that if that is how things actually transpired, I would not be wasting my time telling you about it right?
I arrived about noon and was told they needed to take additional images of my right side. So, I went in and saw my films from last week hanging there with some areas circled. I did not like that. I was tortured for about 20 minutes and she was able to obtain about 5 more images. She told me that the films would be given to the doctor to review and then they would either send me on my merry way or do an ultrasound.
Well, I wasn't lucky enough to get sent on my merry way. An ultrasound was ordered. That took forever. I was laying there thinking about all the ultrasounds I had when I was having babies. The first one when I was barely pregnant with Zech and couldn't tell what I was looking at except for that beating heart. I won't bore you with the depth of my thoughts and memories but I was thinking about how each time I was filled with such emotion and hopes and dreams and expectation and how life has often presented me with things much differently that what was expected and certainly didn't line up with my feelings but turned out to be so much more than I ever imagined and then I feel asleep. Yes, the ultrasound was THAT LONG. Finally, she stopped, I woke up and she said she would be right back.
I waited and waited and only then did I start to worry. I had been there much longer than anticipated. Things weren't going as I expected and I really just wanted to get back to work. After waiting a few more minutes, the doctor arrived with the ultrasound tech. I have never met this dr before. I am laying on the table, topless when he introduces himself. I don't get up. I ask him if I should be concerned about anything. He tells me that there are a couple of areas he has viewed on both the mammogram images and the ultrasound that he would like to take a better look at. So, he is going to take a look at the ultrasound himself. He takes another forever and finally says that I do have cysts. Nothing to be concerned with at all. However, there is one area of tissue that isn't consistent with the area around it and isn't a cyst. He wants to biopsy this tissue.
I felt like things are happening too fast. I didn't expect all of this. I am there alone, I want to call Monte and talk to him. But I realize that the only thing I need to do at this point is move along with the procedure. He gave me the option of rescheduling but I figured now was the time to get results. They left the room to prep and I quickly text messaged Monte and Aubrey at work to let them know I was going to need a biopsy.
Things happened quickly. Next thing I know I was laying on my side, being cut into. It was all very uncomfortable, very overwhelming and I just wanted it to be over. It didn't really take very long but it felt like forever. When they were done, they put a tiny titanium marker in the area the shape of the breast cancer ribbon. That will make the spot where the tissue was removed for future mammograms or, if it's cancer, to guide the surgeon. Guide the surgeon to do WHAT, I thought but didn't ask.
After the dr was done, the nurse came in and cleaned me up, closed up the incision and gave me instructions. I carefully got dressed and went back to work feeling very strange and wondering what and how all of that just happened. That night, I came home and there was a message from my regular doctor stating that she was calling to follow up with my on bloodwork. Of course the office was closed and then I started imagining the worst. Ugh.
The next morning I decided to trust and believe that everything is going to be fine. A call to my dr revealed that my bloodwork all came back in the normal range. Now I just have to wait to get a good report of the biopsy and it will all be behind me.
There were other parts of my week that were hard as well. The kids read this blog (I think) so I will refrain from discussing my difficult and frustrating appointment in Toledo but that was the very next day and it was not a trip I wanted to take.
However, it's all behind me now. Monte was the world's best husband all week and I have pretty much recovered from the experience. I am looking forward to Monday when they call to tell me the good news.
Either way, I am glad that I made the call to schedule. As a mom, I always take care of myself last. I work full time, I drag the kids to dentist, eye drs, checkups, dance, soccer, conferences, etc and so on. I work hard to meet the needs of my husband and keep up with the house and there is little time left to take care of anything else. I am trying to do better at making sure I take care of myself so I can keep meeting the needs of my family. It's not easy but important.
And that is something we are struggle with as women. From now on, let's work harder at taking care of ourselves and each other. I'm in, are you?
Last week I also had my first mammogram. I had been given orders three times over the last couple of years and never followed through. A conversation with my friend and co-worker Aubrey convinced me to finally follow through (actually I believe she said she would be relentless until I scheduled so I did it to get her off of my back). That's what friends are for, right? I scheduled for early morning and it was done and over with and I was at my desk before I normally would be. Easy as pie. Check it off my list of things to do.
That was until, they called me a couple of days later and said they needed me to come back to follow up on some areas on the right side. Great. I took the first available appointment the follow Tuesday afternoon.
I wasn't really too worried about it. I know it's fairly standard. I was very busy Monday and Tuesday so I planned to just drive across the street from my office, get a quick ultrasound, rule out any problems and get on with my day. Now you know that if that is how things actually transpired, I would not be wasting my time telling you about it right?
I arrived about noon and was told they needed to take additional images of my right side. So, I went in and saw my films from last week hanging there with some areas circled. I did not like that. I was tortured for about 20 minutes and she was able to obtain about 5 more images. She told me that the films would be given to the doctor to review and then they would either send me on my merry way or do an ultrasound.
Well, I wasn't lucky enough to get sent on my merry way. An ultrasound was ordered. That took forever. I was laying there thinking about all the ultrasounds I had when I was having babies. The first one when I was barely pregnant with Zech and couldn't tell what I was looking at except for that beating heart. I won't bore you with the depth of my thoughts and memories but I was thinking about how each time I was filled with such emotion and hopes and dreams and expectation and how life has often presented me with things much differently that what was expected and certainly didn't line up with my feelings but turned out to be so much more than I ever imagined and then I feel asleep. Yes, the ultrasound was THAT LONG. Finally, she stopped, I woke up and she said she would be right back.
I waited and waited and only then did I start to worry. I had been there much longer than anticipated. Things weren't going as I expected and I really just wanted to get back to work. After waiting a few more minutes, the doctor arrived with the ultrasound tech. I have never met this dr before. I am laying on the table, topless when he introduces himself. I don't get up. I ask him if I should be concerned about anything. He tells me that there are a couple of areas he has viewed on both the mammogram images and the ultrasound that he would like to take a better look at. So, he is going to take a look at the ultrasound himself. He takes another forever and finally says that I do have cysts. Nothing to be concerned with at all. However, there is one area of tissue that isn't consistent with the area around it and isn't a cyst. He wants to biopsy this tissue.
I felt like things are happening too fast. I didn't expect all of this. I am there alone, I want to call Monte and talk to him. But I realize that the only thing I need to do at this point is move along with the procedure. He gave me the option of rescheduling but I figured now was the time to get results. They left the room to prep and I quickly text messaged Monte and Aubrey at work to let them know I was going to need a biopsy.
Things happened quickly. Next thing I know I was laying on my side, being cut into. It was all very uncomfortable, very overwhelming and I just wanted it to be over. It didn't really take very long but it felt like forever. When they were done, they put a tiny titanium marker in the area the shape of the breast cancer ribbon. That will make the spot where the tissue was removed for future mammograms or, if it's cancer, to guide the surgeon. Guide the surgeon to do WHAT, I thought but didn't ask.
After the dr was done, the nurse came in and cleaned me up, closed up the incision and gave me instructions. I carefully got dressed and went back to work feeling very strange and wondering what and how all of that just happened. That night, I came home and there was a message from my regular doctor stating that she was calling to follow up with my on bloodwork. Of course the office was closed and then I started imagining the worst. Ugh.
The next morning I decided to trust and believe that everything is going to be fine. A call to my dr revealed that my bloodwork all came back in the normal range. Now I just have to wait to get a good report of the biopsy and it will all be behind me.
There were other parts of my week that were hard as well. The kids read this blog (I think) so I will refrain from discussing my difficult and frustrating appointment in Toledo but that was the very next day and it was not a trip I wanted to take.
However, it's all behind me now. Monte was the world's best husband all week and I have pretty much recovered from the experience. I am looking forward to Monday when they call to tell me the good news.
Either way, I am glad that I made the call to schedule. As a mom, I always take care of myself last. I work full time, I drag the kids to dentist, eye drs, checkups, dance, soccer, conferences, etc and so on. I work hard to meet the needs of my husband and keep up with the house and there is little time left to take care of anything else. I am trying to do better at making sure I take care of myself so I can keep meeting the needs of my family. It's not easy but important.
And that is something we are struggle with as women. From now on, let's work harder at taking care of ourselves and each other. I'm in, are you?
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Hairy situation
My children are hippies. Ok. Not all of my children. My sons. They like to wear their hair long. And I really don't like it. However, I know that what they look like means nothing. I have bigger fish to fry. I have millions of things I want to teach them, lessons I pray they learn, values that I want them to embrace. Their outward appearance has nothing to do with any of these things. Besides, I spent many years dressing them and cutting their hair the way *I* liked it but those days are over (at least with Zech and Jake) and letting them choose their own identity is part of them growing up.
Least you think I am the best or worst parent ever for allowing them to have full control over their appearence, I must be competely honest here. I hate their long hair, I hate the way Zech never matches anything and looks like a homeless man half of the time. I hate that all they ever wear is jeans. However, I try to keep those opinions to myself. As long as the following parameters are kept:
1. You must wear CLEAN clothes. They can not smell or have been worn 10 times without washing or look like they were buried at the bottom of the hamper for a month.
2. When we are going somewhere as a family where appearance is a little more important, I DO get a say in what you wear. Also, there is a time and place to dress up. That means you will wear a shirt with a color, tucked in and you will like it because you look fabulous.
3. Hair needs to be trimmed once in a blue moon. Usually when it's in your eyes and I can no longer stand it.
This brings us to the point of this post....(finally, right?)
Zech asked me to take him for a haircut the other day. This happens about once every three years. All other haircutting is forced upon him. Personally I think his girlfriend was behind it and I am very happy about that. I am not above bribing her to get him to do what I want (I will need to make a note of this manipulative tactic for later).
Yesterday I finally had a few minutes and took him and Jake to get trims. Jake didn't want to go. Jake loves his hair long. Jake has FABULOUS thick, dark, curly hair. It didn't use to be curly but in the last year or so, it has become super curly. And thick and dark dark brown. Fabulous really. However, I can't stand it in his eyes. He was long overdue for a trim and shape up.
I normally go to whatever place is open that doesn't require appointments. I don't have time to make appointments. We just go. This time, I decided to try a new place near our house. Jake wasn't happy about it but we went in and waited. When it was Jake's turn I said, "give him a healthy trim" which is the same thing I always say and I swear I pay about $10.00 for a millimeter to be cut off because he always looks about the same as when we went in.
After I give instructions, I always read a magazine and wait. So I am busy reading about Oprah being fat again (really?!) and next thing I know, Jake is walking towards me with the look of red hot rage in his eyes and that's when I realize that the older lady who was cutting his hair translated "healthy trim" to "cut off all of his beautiful curly hair".
WHOOBOY! It took all I had to keep his head from exploding while I paid for the tragedy. Zech looked fabulous, Jake looked well, like all his hair was gone. He lost it in the car. I will save you from the dramatic conversation but I will sum up by telling you that he is never going to school again and has not taken his hood off of his head since.
I do feel bad. I do. My mom cut my bangs too short when I was his age and I have never let her forget it (she was waiting for that to come out-I do forgive you mom) and really, his hair is far too short. I think it looks fantastic but it's not my call to make. It's his head and his hair and I do feel bad. However, I will enjoy it (if he ever takes off his hood) until it all grows out again. In the meantime, I hope that the drama ends soon because really? it's just HAIR Sampson.
There will be no photos to accompany this post because my son might actually kill me if I point a camera at him right now. You'll just have to trust me when I say, he's as fabulous as always, hair or no hair. Really.
Least you think I am the best or worst parent ever for allowing them to have full control over their appearence, I must be competely honest here. I hate their long hair, I hate the way Zech never matches anything and looks like a homeless man half of the time. I hate that all they ever wear is jeans. However, I try to keep those opinions to myself. As long as the following parameters are kept:
1. You must wear CLEAN clothes. They can not smell or have been worn 10 times without washing or look like they were buried at the bottom of the hamper for a month.
2. When we are going somewhere as a family where appearance is a little more important, I DO get a say in what you wear. Also, there is a time and place to dress up. That means you will wear a shirt with a color, tucked in and you will like it because you look fabulous.
3. Hair needs to be trimmed once in a blue moon. Usually when it's in your eyes and I can no longer stand it.
This brings us to the point of this post....(finally, right?)
Zech asked me to take him for a haircut the other day. This happens about once every three years. All other haircutting is forced upon him. Personally I think his girlfriend was behind it and I am very happy about that. I am not above bribing her to get him to do what I want (I will need to make a note of this manipulative tactic for later).
Yesterday I finally had a few minutes and took him and Jake to get trims. Jake didn't want to go. Jake loves his hair long. Jake has FABULOUS thick, dark, curly hair. It didn't use to be curly but in the last year or so, it has become super curly. And thick and dark dark brown. Fabulous really. However, I can't stand it in his eyes. He was long overdue for a trim and shape up.
I normally go to whatever place is open that doesn't require appointments. I don't have time to make appointments. We just go. This time, I decided to try a new place near our house. Jake wasn't happy about it but we went in and waited. When it was Jake's turn I said, "give him a healthy trim" which is the same thing I always say and I swear I pay about $10.00 for a millimeter to be cut off because he always looks about the same as when we went in.
After I give instructions, I always read a magazine and wait. So I am busy reading about Oprah being fat again (really?!) and next thing I know, Jake is walking towards me with the look of red hot rage in his eyes and that's when I realize that the older lady who was cutting his hair translated "healthy trim" to "cut off all of his beautiful curly hair".
WHOOBOY! It took all I had to keep his head from exploding while I paid for the tragedy. Zech looked fabulous, Jake looked well, like all his hair was gone. He lost it in the car. I will save you from the dramatic conversation but I will sum up by telling you that he is never going to school again and has not taken his hood off of his head since.
I do feel bad. I do. My mom cut my bangs too short when I was his age and I have never let her forget it (she was waiting for that to come out-I do forgive you mom) and really, his hair is far too short. I think it looks fantastic but it's not my call to make. It's his head and his hair and I do feel bad. However, I will enjoy it (if he ever takes off his hood) until it all grows out again. In the meantime, I hope that the drama ends soon because really? it's just HAIR Sampson.
There will be no photos to accompany this post because my son might actually kill me if I point a camera at him right now. You'll just have to trust me when I say, he's as fabulous as always, hair or no hair. Really.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Trying to keep up
It's finally spring in Michigan. That means well, no more snow. Maybe. It has however, been warmish and damp and sunny. Everyone is enjoying less bundling up, no more mittens and gloves and playing outside. Spring also means the whole neighborhood starts coming out of hibernation. Everyone is a little more social and happy and nice.
However, I find myself not feeling well. I haven't been sick really but my throat is constantly a little sore and I am having this horrid neck and shoulder pain that leaves me with headaches every afternoon. I feel run down and exhausted and I can't seem to kick it.
In other news, I am thinking that if I don't start cooking and baking again, I am going to have to turn in my foodie card. I cook dinner every night but nothing fabulous, exciting, new or amazing. Just dinner. So, it's on my list of things to do...start cooking again. I have been reading plenty of food blogs, it's a start right?
Monte and I are working up the motivation to finish our home redecorating. We have decided the carpet isn't really the color we ordered and are trying to decide how to resolve that and we need to start painting this weekend.
I am going to finish this post by commenting on Facebook. Seriously folks, I have been found by junior high friends. How fun is that? Craziness. I can't decide if Facebook is the best or worst thing that ever happened to society. Time will tell.
However, I find myself not feeling well. I haven't been sick really but my throat is constantly a little sore and I am having this horrid neck and shoulder pain that leaves me with headaches every afternoon. I feel run down and exhausted and I can't seem to kick it.
In other news, I am thinking that if I don't start cooking and baking again, I am going to have to turn in my foodie card. I cook dinner every night but nothing fabulous, exciting, new or amazing. Just dinner. So, it's on my list of things to do...start cooking again. I have been reading plenty of food blogs, it's a start right?
Monte and I are working up the motivation to finish our home redecorating. We have decided the carpet isn't really the color we ordered and are trying to decide how to resolve that and we need to start painting this weekend.
I am going to finish this post by commenting on Facebook. Seriously folks, I have been found by junior high friends. How fun is that? Craziness. I can't decide if Facebook is the best or worst thing that ever happened to society. Time will tell.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Girls Night Out. Kind of.
Now that the kids are getting older, weekends (and in particular Friday nights) have become a logistical game of who is coming and going and how and when and where and why. Teenagers never make plans until the last minute so my drive home on Friday is a barrage of phone calls attempting to get everyone where they want to be. Monte and I wait to see how it all shakes out and then we decide what we are going to do with whatever children end up at our house. Or we throw a pizza at them and go out alone.
Last night was no exception. Zech was away visiting Michigan State and seeing the Lion King with his class and would not be home until midnight or so. Check. Jake invited his friend over after school and to maybe spend the night. Could I please bring them home some pop and snacks and maybe pizza? Check. Eli had a birthday party that was a sleepover right here in the neighborhood and had the gift that I picked up a gift on my lunch hour with me. After many discussions about the gift, what he was allowed to bring, what he needed to pack, what time we were going, he was settled. Check. Then Monte called and said he had to work late.
So, I called back to the house and asked my daughter if she would like to have dinner with her favorite mom. Her answer? "Well, maybe because my friend invited me for a sleepover, I am waiting for her to call back." Wow. I've been dissed by my eight year old who doesn't generally want me out of her sight!
As it turns out, I got home, wrapped the gift, took Eli to his party, picked up pizza and pop and brought it home for the teenagers in my basement. Baila had not heard from her friend by then so we went out and enjoyed a lovely dinner. She is SO funny to spend one on one time with. I love the things she talks about and we have a blast together. It's those moments that fill my heart because while I am so happy for my kids that they have friends and full lives, I realize they are moving away from me very quickly and nothing I do will change that. I just try to capture those rare moments when I have their undivided attention and hold them in my heart.
After a lovely dinner discussing a number of interesting GIRLS ONLY things, we came home to discover her friend did call and so off we went again to drop her off for a sleepover, I stopped at the store to pick up some ice cream for Monte and I, came home and promptly passed out on the couch. My wonderful husband took a photo of me and posted it on Facebook. Nice. Exhibit A: Exhausted mom on the run crashes as soon as she sits down.
After all of that, I woke up and realized I had to wait for Z to call me to come get him when they returned to the school so I figured I could do a little cleaning while I waited. I realized that it was 12:15 on a Friday night and I was cleaning the kitchen floor on my hands and knees. I really know how to PARTY! Wow, am I getting OLD.
Today I have decided to hop in the Subaru (I love driving that car) and head to Toledo to do some shower planning with my mom and her sister in law. I'm going alone so I can listen to my bad, boring, stupid and outdated music as loud as I want with no one to comment and am looking forward to a nice day with people who understand that a Girls Night Out means something very different than it once did! Right after I vacuum with my new Dyson....:)
Last night was no exception. Zech was away visiting Michigan State and seeing the Lion King with his class and would not be home until midnight or so. Check. Jake invited his friend over after school and to maybe spend the night. Could I please bring them home some pop and snacks and maybe pizza? Check. Eli had a birthday party that was a sleepover right here in the neighborhood and had the gift that I picked up a gift on my lunch hour with me. After many discussions about the gift, what he was allowed to bring, what he needed to pack, what time we were going, he was settled. Check. Then Monte called and said he had to work late.
So, I called back to the house and asked my daughter if she would like to have dinner with her favorite mom. Her answer? "Well, maybe because my friend invited me for a sleepover, I am waiting for her to call back." Wow. I've been dissed by my eight year old who doesn't generally want me out of her sight!
As it turns out, I got home, wrapped the gift, took Eli to his party, picked up pizza and pop and brought it home for the teenagers in my basement. Baila had not heard from her friend by then so we went out and enjoyed a lovely dinner. She is SO funny to spend one on one time with. I love the things she talks about and we have a blast together. It's those moments that fill my heart because while I am so happy for my kids that they have friends and full lives, I realize they are moving away from me very quickly and nothing I do will change that. I just try to capture those rare moments when I have their undivided attention and hold them in my heart.
After a lovely dinner discussing a number of interesting GIRLS ONLY things, we came home to discover her friend did call and so off we went again to drop her off for a sleepover, I stopped at the store to pick up some ice cream for Monte and I, came home and promptly passed out on the couch. My wonderful husband took a photo of me and posted it on Facebook. Nice. Exhibit A: Exhausted mom on the run crashes as soon as she sits down.
After all of that, I woke up and realized I had to wait for Z to call me to come get him when they returned to the school so I figured I could do a little cleaning while I waited. I realized that it was 12:15 on a Friday night and I was cleaning the kitchen floor on my hands and knees. I really know how to PARTY! Wow, am I getting OLD.
Today I have decided to hop in the Subaru (I love driving that car) and head to Toledo to do some shower planning with my mom and her sister in law. I'm going alone so I can listen to my bad, boring, stupid and outdated music as loud as I want with no one to comment and am looking forward to a nice day with people who understand that a Girls Night Out means something very different than it once did! Right after I vacuum with my new Dyson....:)
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Sixteen
Zechariah,
The day you were born I became a mom and you and I started on this adventure together. From the moment I knew you were coming, I was in love and the moment I held you in my arms, I was forever changed.
There are distinct advantages and disadvantages to being the oldest child. The biggest disadvantage is that every single stage of your life is uncharted territory and I have often found myself navigating with no map, no GPS and no idea where we were going to find ourselves. You were the first child I ever had to diaper, bathe, nurse, wean, feed, potty train, send to school, discipline and slowly let go into the world. Every time I have started to feel like I had a firm grasp on parenting you, you would change the rules and off we would go again...
From the beginning, you have had this HUGE personality. As a baby, I called you "little papa" because you looked like a wise little man with so much to say. Once you started talking, I realized that I was right. You always had to so much to share, so many questions, so many thoughts and opinions. You have always exhausted and amazed me. So much of who you are today, I saw in you as a little boy.
If I have any regrets in life Zech, it is that I wasn't always there to protect you. That you learned far too early what a scary place this world is and that there are people who can and will hurt you. I never could have imagined in those early years while I held you while you slept so I would not miss one breath, that the day would come when I couldn't stop the world from hurting you. This is something that has changed us both forever. And even as I have watched you hurt and could not hug and kiss it better, my heart broke with yours over and over again.
Sixteen years. You have experienced and lived so much in such a short time. And yet, your whole life is ahead of you. You have grown taller and stronger than me. You are still my little baby boy and sometimes I have to look twice because I don't recognize you behind the facial hair and muscles.
Yes, we have traveled this journey to sixteen together. At times you were so connected to me that you wouldn't let me out of your sight and there were other times that you wanted me as far away as I could possibly get. It hasn't been easy but my love for you is as constant as your very heartbeat and nothing will ever change that.
Today I see an amazing person standing before me. You have everything within to change the world. It's so cliche and absurd to say but you really are a diamond in the rough. You have yet to discover who you are and what you have to offer the world. But I see it all and I can't wait for you to discover what I already know.
Look deep inside and you will see what I do. Wisdom, strength and kindness. You have always been so nurturing to those most vulnerable. It is a part of who you are. You call things as you see them, you don't tolerate injustice or hypocrisy and you are one of the most charming people alive. You can use words to express yourself in ways most can not and your words can cut people straight to the core of who they are. You are intuitive and feel things deeper than most. These traits have been both a blessing and a curse to you but I pray that you will learn to see them as strengths and take ownership of who and what you are and what you were created to be.
You have many years of life yet to travel and I want to be with you every step of the way, I'll bring the map.
Love, Mom
The day you were born I became a mom and you and I started on this adventure together. From the moment I knew you were coming, I was in love and the moment I held you in my arms, I was forever changed.
There are distinct advantages and disadvantages to being the oldest child. The biggest disadvantage is that every single stage of your life is uncharted territory and I have often found myself navigating with no map, no GPS and no idea where we were going to find ourselves. You were the first child I ever had to diaper, bathe, nurse, wean, feed, potty train, send to school, discipline and slowly let go into the world. Every time I have started to feel like I had a firm grasp on parenting you, you would change the rules and off we would go again...
From the beginning, you have had this HUGE personality. As a baby, I called you "little papa" because you looked like a wise little man with so much to say. Once you started talking, I realized that I was right. You always had to so much to share, so many questions, so many thoughts and opinions. You have always exhausted and amazed me. So much of who you are today, I saw in you as a little boy.
If I have any regrets in life Zech, it is that I wasn't always there to protect you. That you learned far too early what a scary place this world is and that there are people who can and will hurt you. I never could have imagined in those early years while I held you while you slept so I would not miss one breath, that the day would come when I couldn't stop the world from hurting you. This is something that has changed us both forever. And even as I have watched you hurt and could not hug and kiss it better, my heart broke with yours over and over again.
Sixteen years. You have experienced and lived so much in such a short time. And yet, your whole life is ahead of you. You have grown taller and stronger than me. You are still my little baby boy and sometimes I have to look twice because I don't recognize you behind the facial hair and muscles.
Yes, we have traveled this journey to sixteen together. At times you were so connected to me that you wouldn't let me out of your sight and there were other times that you wanted me as far away as I could possibly get. It hasn't been easy but my love for you is as constant as your very heartbeat and nothing will ever change that.
Today I see an amazing person standing before me. You have everything within to change the world. It's so cliche and absurd to say but you really are a diamond in the rough. You have yet to discover who you are and what you have to offer the world. But I see it all and I can't wait for you to discover what I already know.
Look deep inside and you will see what I do. Wisdom, strength and kindness. You have always been so nurturing to those most vulnerable. It is a part of who you are. You call things as you see them, you don't tolerate injustice or hypocrisy and you are one of the most charming people alive. You can use words to express yourself in ways most can not and your words can cut people straight to the core of who they are. You are intuitive and feel things deeper than most. These traits have been both a blessing and a curse to you but I pray that you will learn to see them as strengths and take ownership of who and what you are and what you were created to be.
You have many years of life yet to travel and I want to be with you every step of the way, I'll bring the map.
Love, Mom
Saturday, February 7, 2009
I AM the Queen of England
After all the rush rush rush of a long and busy week, it's finally the weekend. The kids were heading to Toledo to visit with their grandparents this weekend so I left work on Friday and had to rush to the pharmacy, rush home, change clothes, grab the kids, pick up Z at his friends and hit the road. Of course everyone was starving so we quickly stopped for fast food. We got to our planned meeting point and the kids climbed out of the van giving kisses and love and and then, it was quiet and I was alone (except they left a bunch of trash and fries in their wake). For all of these years when the kids go away for weekends, it is pure craziness getting everyone packed and corralled and ready and then BOOM, just like that. silence. It's always so strange.
Imet Monte out for a dinner of breadsticks and greek salad and then came home and crashed. Monte and I always look forward to having some down time. Only, I happen to not be very good at down time. I sleep in and feel like I wasted part of the day. Monte took Wilson to the groomers because he's long overdue and my dad is coming next weekend. Monte laughed at me because I have spent my entire life disliking and being afraid of all animals and now I am worried about the dog being groomed and presentable when my dad arrives. WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME?! Then he called me a doggy mama or something and I drew the line right there. I am NOT the mom of an animal. Ok, I am the mom of four animals but it's DIFFERENT.
At any rate, Monte took W to Happy Tails, I made coffee and turned on the laptop. Monte came back and made breakfast and we are still sitting here, talking about what to do today. We have errands to run, chores to do and much more. Tonight we will go out to celebrate Valentine's Day. I have a list of things I want to do around here but somehow it will all be a big dusty mess (WHY is my house so DUSTY) before next weekend so I might as well relax now and clean like a maniac the day before my dad arrives. Monte has to take the dryer apart (for the 100th time) because the kids leave little pencil stubs in their pockets and they get stuck in the vent and make a horrid noise. I know, I should check all pockets before doing the laundry but do you have ANY idea HOW MANY POCKETS I wash each week? I try to check them all but sometimes, I miss one or two. It's a good thing my husband loves me so much.
So, that's it. I waited a long time to get to a place of having just a nice, normal family life. And that is exactly where I have landed. Monte I lay in bed this morning talking about how we have become a family and built our lives together and everyone is settled and happy and home and I just don't ever take it for granted and I pray I never do.
Imet Monte out for a dinner of breadsticks and greek salad and then came home and crashed. Monte and I always look forward to having some down time. Only, I happen to not be very good at down time. I sleep in and feel like I wasted part of the day. Monte took Wilson to the groomers because he's long overdue and my dad is coming next weekend. Monte laughed at me because I have spent my entire life disliking and being afraid of all animals and now I am worried about the dog being groomed and presentable when my dad arrives. WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME?! Then he called me a doggy mama or something and I drew the line right there. I am NOT the mom of an animal. Ok, I am the mom of four animals but it's DIFFERENT.
At any rate, Monte took W to Happy Tails, I made coffee and turned on the laptop. Monte came back and made breakfast and we are still sitting here, talking about what to do today. We have errands to run, chores to do and much more. Tonight we will go out to celebrate Valentine's Day. I have a list of things I want to do around here but somehow it will all be a big dusty mess (WHY is my house so DUSTY) before next weekend so I might as well relax now and clean like a maniac the day before my dad arrives. Monte has to take the dryer apart (for the 100th time) because the kids leave little pencil stubs in their pockets and they get stuck in the vent and make a horrid noise. I know, I should check all pockets before doing the laundry but do you have ANY idea HOW MANY POCKETS I wash each week? I try to check them all but sometimes, I miss one or two. It's a good thing my husband loves me so much.
So, that's it. I waited a long time to get to a place of having just a nice, normal family life. And that is exactly where I have landed. Monte I lay in bed this morning talking about how we have become a family and built our lives together and everyone is settled and happy and home and I just don't ever take it for granted and I pray I never do.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Family project: FAIL
So, my plan to have the entire family update this blog isn't going well. I guess I am not as good at making my family do things they don't want to do as I thought I was! ;) AND everyone is so darn busy all of the time! Wilson is the only one who is always home and he can't type (or do laundry or cook or mop floors or clean bathrooms and believe me, I have tried to teach him!) To keep this from becoming boring, I will do more updating myself and force my family members to chime in now and then because I think they all have interesting things to say!
I don't have a plan or a theme today so I am going to ramble for a moment... It's February and this is my favorite month of the year. It's my birthday and Valentine's Day and tax return time! This is FAR better than Christmas! Santa never brings us money, he just requires us to spend it! Monte and I are going to celebrate Valentine's Day this weekend while the kids are in Toledo. This will allow us to avoid the crowds and craziness next week (we are so practical) and also enjoy some "alone" time. Next weekend we will plan something to do with the kids AND we will be VERY busy getting ready for my dad's visit from Texas!!! I sure hope he brings some warm weather with him! Even if he doesn't we are all very excited to see him!
I also need to start planning a certain someone's sixteenth birthday celebration. I can not wrap my mind around the fact that my first born son is turning 16. I don't feel old enough! I remember my own 16th year of life so vividly. And my parents? were OLD when I was 16. Looking back, they were younger than I am now. And this is yet another thing I can not wrap my brain around...perspective is an amazing thing.
Well, there you go, a bunch of rambling just as I promised! Look for a very sappy post about my son Zech soon. I am feeling VERY sentimental these days!
I don't have a plan or a theme today so I am going to ramble for a moment... It's February and this is my favorite month of the year. It's my birthday and Valentine's Day and tax return time! This is FAR better than Christmas! Santa never brings us money, he just requires us to spend it! Monte and I are going to celebrate Valentine's Day this weekend while the kids are in Toledo. This will allow us to avoid the crowds and craziness next week (we are so practical) and also enjoy some "alone" time. Next weekend we will plan something to do with the kids AND we will be VERY busy getting ready for my dad's visit from Texas!!! I sure hope he brings some warm weather with him! Even if he doesn't we are all very excited to see him!
I also need to start planning a certain someone's sixteenth birthday celebration. I can not wrap my mind around the fact that my first born son is turning 16. I don't feel old enough! I remember my own 16th year of life so vividly. And my parents? were OLD when I was 16. Looking back, they were younger than I am now. And this is yet another thing I can not wrap my brain around...perspective is an amazing thing.
Well, there you go, a bunch of rambling just as I promised! Look for a very sappy post about my son Zech soon. I am feeling VERY sentimental these days!
Sunday, February 1, 2009
SUPER BOWL SUNDAY: My Story Of Getting Sacked By The Ice.
Hello reader, I need to tell you this story. Today I went over to my Aunt's house and me and my cosin Dillon got the video carema out and did a sledding and snowboarding video. Dillon has a SWEET starter ramp in his back yard and I tried to do a 360 down the starter ramp and land it forword. Well lets just say it did not go well. I did a faceplant into the ice on the starter ramp. Now the side of my face is messed up. Then when I came home my mom HAD to take pictures of my scares. (I told her NOT to put it on flickr so you wont see it or you will couse my mom uploads EVERY picture she takes.) So that is my story and my blog.
Friday, January 23, 2009
AHHHH! REPORT CARDS!!!!!!!
HELLO! im going to tell what i like about report cards and what i don't like about report cards. what i like is that when we get them passed out at school me and all my friends get all scared! and i earn money from my grandparents. i don't really not like anything about report cards!this year.... YAY! MY FIRST REPORT CARD WITHOUT A TEACHER SAYING I TALK TOO MUCH! I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE REPORT CARDS!
Saturday, January 10, 2009
One is silver and the other gold
Do you remember that song from girl scouts? Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold.
I found a dear friend that I lost track of a couple years ago. We met when I was 19. We were friends when she got engaged and married and when I found out I was expecting my first son. She told me she was expecting her first child the day Zech was born. They were nine months apart and when I stayed home and she went back to work, I watched her daughter. Zech and M were nine months apart and M called me Nanny. I loved that little girl. The years went by and we both continued to build our family. I had Jake, she had H and then when I was pregnant with Eli, I stopped babysitting but our friendship was still as strong as ever.
However, they relocated to Columbus around the time I was pregnant with Baila and she went on to have another baby too. Seven kids, many miles and life got in the way but after my divorce when I was barely managing my day to day life, it became even more difficult to keep up with those that were so far away. I went to Columbus with another friend to visit about 5 years ago and that was our last visit. Finally, we both moved and changed numbers and addresses and lost each other.
This past week, baby M (who is now almost 16!!!!) found me on Facebook and I have been laughing and crying and catching up ever since. I can't believe I let life get in the way of a 17 year friendship! I can't believe how much I missed and how much both of us have been through the last couple of years. I can't even wrap my brain around all the twists and turns and changes and pain and joy that life has brought and I can't believe we are SO OLD to have children who are almost driving!
At any rate, I am so happy to have "found" my dear friend again, I grieve that I wasn't around when she probably really needed me and I wish she didn't live so far away but that's ok. I'll take what I can get.
Also, I am thankful to Al Gore for inventing the internets. I met my husband, found my dog and now reconnected with a dear friend all because of the magic of the internet! You should try it, this thing might really catch on!
I found a dear friend that I lost track of a couple years ago. We met when I was 19. We were friends when she got engaged and married and when I found out I was expecting my first son. She told me she was expecting her first child the day Zech was born. They were nine months apart and when I stayed home and she went back to work, I watched her daughter. Zech and M were nine months apart and M called me Nanny. I loved that little girl. The years went by and we both continued to build our family. I had Jake, she had H and then when I was pregnant with Eli, I stopped babysitting but our friendship was still as strong as ever.
However, they relocated to Columbus around the time I was pregnant with Baila and she went on to have another baby too. Seven kids, many miles and life got in the way but after my divorce when I was barely managing my day to day life, it became even more difficult to keep up with those that were so far away. I went to Columbus with another friend to visit about 5 years ago and that was our last visit. Finally, we both moved and changed numbers and addresses and lost each other.
This past week, baby M (who is now almost 16!!!!) found me on Facebook and I have been laughing and crying and catching up ever since. I can't believe I let life get in the way of a 17 year friendship! I can't believe how much I missed and how much both of us have been through the last couple of years. I can't even wrap my brain around all the twists and turns and changes and pain and joy that life has brought and I can't believe we are SO OLD to have children who are almost driving!
At any rate, I am so happy to have "found" my dear friend again, I grieve that I wasn't around when she probably really needed me and I wish she didn't live so far away but that's ok. I'll take what I can get.
Also, I am thankful to Al Gore for inventing the internets. I met my husband, found my dog and now reconnected with a dear friend all because of the magic of the internet! You should try it, this thing might really catch on!
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
Hello and welcome to another one of my blogs. I am sorry I did not blog earlyer but I was busy getting more games. Anyways christmas did not end until sunday the 4th. I did not get to blog about... NEW YEARS. We had a HUGE party at my aunts house and me, Jacob, and Baila spent the night there. One of Jacobs friends scared me to DEATH and my mom had to check for zombies all week! :) Well I hope you had a very good NEW YEAR and a happy hanukka! Have a good life! What you would say for GOOD LUCK in some other place! Bye. Go. Leave. If you are still reading go. Im for real. Comon people! O.K. bye. Go skatebord with a monkey take a hike just leave.Bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
right here right now!
hello! i am going to tell you how i feel and think and show you the good news! first i fell great because in two days (today is tuesday 6th 09.) i have two great things happening! 1:i get to do a commercal in front of the whole school 2:my dance dress rehersal! i think wow! it is SOOOOOOO close! the good news is well that! see ya L8tr! ( <- later.)
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Looking back
It's hard to believe that another year has past and here we are in 2009. Since I am the sentimental type, I like to reflect on the prior year.
In 2008 we became closer as a family. Nothing was new anymore and we all found ourselves settled into our lives here in Michigan.
The kids ended and began a new school year and everyone grew a ton, especially Jake. Baila became very involved in dance, Jake tried track and Eli played two seasons of soccer. Zech has been through some tough times this year but I think he has learned some tough lessons and has grown quite a bit. I think there is nothing but good things ahead for him.
I started a new job in February that I was excited about but unfortunately found myself unemployed in July. I spent some time off with the kids in the summer and then ended up with the best job ever in August. I feel like I finally found my perfect job here in Michigan! I also spent quite a bit of time learning more about my camera and having fun with photography.
We celebrated many birthdays and holidays together and ate countless meals around out kitchen table. We tried to stay connected to our family far and near in the midst of our busyness.
Monte and I made it to Florida and went away for our anniversary and made sure to spend time together without the kids as well, we are still newlyweds and we make sure to not let life get in the way of our relationship. We are the best of friends and I still feel very blessed to have the most amazing husband ever.
So, we have laughed and cried and faced some tough times and had a lot of fun and all in all we had a busy and wonderfully normal year and I can't wait to see what 2009 has in store for us! I guess I'm just an optimistic sap!
In 2008 we became closer as a family. Nothing was new anymore and we all found ourselves settled into our lives here in Michigan.
The kids ended and began a new school year and everyone grew a ton, especially Jake. Baila became very involved in dance, Jake tried track and Eli played two seasons of soccer. Zech has been through some tough times this year but I think he has learned some tough lessons and has grown quite a bit. I think there is nothing but good things ahead for him.
I started a new job in February that I was excited about but unfortunately found myself unemployed in July. I spent some time off with the kids in the summer and then ended up with the best job ever in August. I feel like I finally found my perfect job here in Michigan! I also spent quite a bit of time learning more about my camera and having fun with photography.
We celebrated many birthdays and holidays together and ate countless meals around out kitchen table. We tried to stay connected to our family far and near in the midst of our busyness.
Monte and I made it to Florida and went away for our anniversary and made sure to spend time together without the kids as well, we are still newlyweds and we make sure to not let life get in the way of our relationship. We are the best of friends and I still feel very blessed to have the most amazing husband ever.
So, we have laughed and cried and faced some tough times and had a lot of fun and all in all we had a busy and wonderfully normal year and I can't wait to see what 2009 has in store for us! I guess I'm just an optimistic sap!
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